The Intrigues of Language
Being the student of language and literature I have
collected a few pieces regarding intricacies of English language. These pieces
point out paradoxes and surprises of English in which there are more exceptions
than rules yet it is the most widely used language of the world perhaps due to
this great advantage that it is printer friendly and hassle free. Now I would
like to draw your attention to the following pieces.
English is a Funny Language
There is no egg in eggplant
No ham in hamburger
Neither pine nor apple in the pineapple
English muffins
were not invented in England
French fries were nor invented in France
We
sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine
its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
Nor it is a pig
If writers write how come
fingers don’t fing ?
If
the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t
the plural of phone booth be phone beeth ?
If
the teacher taught
Why hasn’t the preacher praught ?
If
a vegetarian eats vegetables.
What a
heck does a humanitarian eat ?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a
recital ?
Park on driveways and Drive on parkways ?
How
can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And cold as hell on another ?
You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
Where a house can burn up as I burns down.
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out.
And a
bell is only heard once it goes !
English was invented by people, not computers,
And
it reflects the creativity of the human race
(
which of course isn’t a race at all)
That’s why
when the stars are out they are visible
But when
the lights are out they are invisible
And why it
is that when I wind up my watch, it starts
But when I
wind up this poem, it ends.
Next piece is why English is a difficult language to learn
as you have to learn more exceptions than rules. Here it is:-
Why English
is so hard ?
We’ll begin
with a box, and the plural is boxes
But the
plural of ox, becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is
a goose, but two are called geese
Yet the
plural of moose should never be meese
You may find
a lone mouse or a nest full of mice
Yet the
plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the
plural of man is always called men
Why
shouldn’t the plural of pan be called
pen ?
If I
speak of my foot and show you my feet
And I
give you a boot, would a pair be called beet ?
If one
is tooth and a whole set are teeth
Why
shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth ?
Then one
may be that, and three would be those
Yet hat
in the plural would never be hose,
And the
plural of cat is cats, not cose,
We speak
of brother and also of brethren
But
though we say mother, we never say methren,
Then the
masculine pronoun are he, his and him
But
imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim !
Now a serious and sensible piece about Eight Parts of Speech
to wing up this article
The
Eight Parts of the Speech
Every name is called a Noun
As
field and fountain, street and town.
In
place of noun the Pronoun stands
As
he and she can clap their hands.
The
Adjective describes a thing
As magic word or bridal
ring.
The
verb means action, something done
To
read and write, to jump and run.
How things are done the Adverbs tell
As quickly, slowly, badly , well
The
preposition shows relation
As
in the street or at the station
Conjunction joins, in many ways
Sentences, words, or phrase and phrase.
The
Interjection cries out, Hark !
I
need an exclamation mark.
